A Rant

I'm just mad right now. Y'know, I have been a Christian since my freshman year in college, and a church-goer all my life before that. Almost all of my closest friends here in Nashville are Christian artists, work for a Christian record label, and/or produce and engineer for Christian artists in very fancy studios. My point is this: I am around people who are paid as Christians, so to speak, and it challenges me to not be the same old Christian I was in college. They are not "cookie-cutter" Christians. They are not card-carrying Republicans who spew the rhetoric of Jerry Falwell (and alienate so many people who would actually be interested in Christ if not for the idiocy of some of his very vocal/visual followers.) They are REAL people who love God so much, and love others with incredible generosity, yet they are also people who struggle, who make mistakes (sometimes really big ones) and yet you know what? People still look to them as what "Christians" are supposed to look like. (No pressure there!) Being a Christian does not free you from temptation, not does it give you the right to look down on people because you know Christ and they do not.

I have grown in my faith - I grow and learn every DAY - whether it's something I want to learn or not. God uses people, events, the horrible thoughts that come into my head - to remind me that I'm not meant for this world, that it's NOT all about me, and that my main gig here is to know God and live as I believe he wants me to live. Do the best I can - God knows I screw up HOURLY - but keep it in mind. And I just get so FRUSTRATED when people who profess themselves as Christians come out blazing with these judgmental, holier-than-thou comments about me, judging me as a person, me as a Christian, without even KNOWING me? Are you joking? People: we don't get anywhere without love. That old saying "You can catch more flies with honey..." applies in life - you are more influential when you show kindness - ire and hatred and judgment only drive people away. Why would someone be drawn to your faith or your point of view if what they saw in YOU was criticism and judgmentalism and disdain as you "look down" on them? It drives me absolutely crazy.

(Scene break)

The above was written in response to a comment on my myspace, commenting on how I responded to another person's comment, a person who created an entirely new, fake profile in order to post hurtful, but Christian! thoughts. Below is the content of how I responded to this person:

I am a Christian and I am not afraid to say what I believe. I do not need to create a fake profile to hide behind so as not to offend someone. That is the problem I had with that person's post: not the content of it, which I can respect as this person's beliefs (and by the way, some of which I agree with Biblically) but the fact that he/she did not have the guts to do it as themselves. That IS cowardly. And as an adult, it IS ok to talk with maturity, with integrity, about what I believe to be right and wrong. But I would NEVER impose my belief on someone else by degrading who they are - the words of Jesus that have spoken to me most in recent weeks has been "judge not lest ye be judged" by the same measure, etc. Who are we to judge others? We are to judge those within the church, not outside of it, and for me personally, I am offended by your immaturity in believing that you can judge who I am, especially without being in relationship with me as a friend, and especially who I am as a Christian. Why are you reading Jacob's blogs if you don't agree with him? Or like who he is? I have compassion for a young man who is struggling to know what is right, to find out who he is. I do not know, and I will not know until I am able to ask God Himself, what the "final word" is on homosexuality. It makes me sick to think of how God says ALL our good deeds are like "filthy rags" to him, and yet people use what they think are good deeds to buoy themselves up as a "better Christian" or even a better person than someone else. We cannot put value on sin - my sin of coveting what my neighbor has is as unbecoming in God's eyes as someone who murders (it's in there - you can look it up.)
Please leave me alone - I am not interested in dialogue about spiritual matters with people who are close-minded and judgmental. I enjoy meeting people who emulate Christ (whether they know it or not) through kindness, forgiveness, and patience with who we are as sinful human beings, Christian or not. I will always dialogue with someone who approaches me out of a desire to know more or to share their thoughts on something in the spirit of openness, but not someone who comes to me out of the harshness that you approached me. My comment to Jacob was simply meant as support for him, a young man who is not afraid to say things that he knows others will not agree with, and how sad it was to me that the person who disagreed could not simply say the same thing, but say it as themselves, not someone who was ashamed of their faith.


And... I'm done.