The Worst Day

Today I cried on the middle of the school day. I cried so hard that my eyeballs were glazed over brick red. REAL nice. I locked myself in the faculty bathroom, which echoes horribly, so God knows who heard me. I left my yearbook class about ten minutes early because I had just given about 3/4 of them a speech about the other 1/4 (I was preaching to the choir, basically) after I had just received a phone call from our yearbook rep that all of the pages we've submitted up until now have been completed on the WRONG TEMPLATES. This means that they all must be "copied and pasted" (it's actually much more complicated than that, but that's the easiest way to explain it) and I am leaving the second school ends tomorrow for YL camp. I can't stay after to get this straight. There is so much more crap I could write about - I actually just deleted my attempt at explaining another scene.

Suffice it to say - I'm miserable, and I don't see a way out. I did talk to the asst. principal (I was in the middle of the breakdown - yes, I escaped the bathroom to find her) and she was very compassionate, and is going to help me find ways to survive this year. She told me she is actively pursuing the teacher I recommended as my replacement. Thank God.

It is the worst feeling to feel incompetent in the environment where I am normally confident and excited. It's just 20% of my day, and I love the other 80%. But the 20 is kicking my ass. All over the place. Hate hate hate. You do not want to know what my self-talk is saying right now. Elizabeth Gilbert/Oprah/Dr. Phil/my ex-counselor would NOT be impressed.

I gotta go back. Drink some wine. Watch The Office. Get a life.