A Crumb from the Table

In a surprising turn of events, my assistant principal called me into his office Friday afternoon to finish up my evaluation folder. He had come in on Wed. for my official "drop-in" evaluation, which of course, is unannounced. I thought it went rather well, and here comes the surprise: so did he! He said that he could see me going on to high school and eventually the university level because of my "giftedness" at leading classroom discussions. This coming from a man who last week reminded me that before going across the street for a convenience store coffee, I needed to check in with him and not "make a habit of it." He was downright enthusiastic in his appraisal of my class. I was in shock - I've never seen him smile for so much of an extended amount of time. For a moment, I felt a little of my old passion for teaching that this school has stomped into oblivion these 6 months. His praise reminded me that I can do this job, and that I'm quite good at it.



So what to do with it? I don't know. We meet again Monday morning to finalize my "future growth plan" - doesn't that seem a bit hopeful? The night before this meeting I was crying to two friends and to my journal that I can't do this job any longer. Friday I had a good day with kids and this effusive praise out of nowhere from my immediate superior. Maybe it's just enough encouragement to keep me - well, breathing. Does anyone remember me before this job?? I want that girl back. This one is tired, angry, and battle-weary. But she'll go to school tomorrow anyway and try again to make something good out of the madness.